Tag-araw ng isanlibo, siyam na raan at walumpu’t siyam

Tag-araw ng isanlibo, siyam na raan at walumpu’t siyam

Di sinasadyang pagtatagpo

Di mailarawang kasiyahan ng puso

Di rin nga ba ibinigay dahil sa inaakalang gulo

Ng walang pinag-uugatang panibugho?

Panginoon ko, tanging panalangin

Landas nami’y muling pagtagpuin

Buhay at isipan nawa’y pagsamahin

Dahil sa habambuhay, siya lamang tanging mamahalin. 

One more poem for you…

Sa Tamang Panahon

Written in our national language, Filipino. One true love.

Tama man ang nararamdaman

Hindi tama ang pagkakataon. 
Sa tuwina aking dasal, 

Masabi kong ikaw ang tanging pinakamamahal

At marinig muling ako rin ang siyang bigay ng Maykapal

Sa tamang pagkakataon, 

Sa itinakdang panahon. 

B.

Lull

Muse, my muse, I long to meet you again after a lull from putting out my thoughts out in the open. Bear with me please as I still gather the courage to once again share what my mind is up to. 📝

End of the day

At the end of the day, what really matters is the relationship we have with our God, with how we’ve tried to conduct ourselves when nobody can see or hear us except God himself.

My Lord, I firmly believe in deliverance, in faithfulness, in love that sets no conditions, in all that you represent, whether I’ve seen them or have yet to see them. A mere speck in this world, I am. Yet you place a high price on my, with our lives by putting events, people, situations which I truly cannot decipher but have already mapped out yourself. Who then am I to doubt your greatness? Thank you still, for listening patiently to my endless questions, and letting me see when you want to and not letting me when you just want my trust be wholly placed on you.
Magnificent, awesome, powerful, humble. You are my life. Thank you God!

Painters

Life workers

Who makes buildings look spic and span with a new coat of paint? These building painters who I noticed doing just that, making a hospital building less drab, more appealing. And it made me think and made me wax something sentimental with my kid (who was then confined for pneumonia-ah, this is another story). “Look at them dear, look how hard they work and no harness! That’s scary!” My kid sat up and asked if they don’t get dizzy. Told her that they probably did but didn’t mind because they were making a living for their family. She was amazed at the same time confused. Amazed because we were on the 10th floor, confused because she still couldn’t fathom why and how in the world can these men do that, balance themselves from a dangerous looking workplace and yes, work at the same time. I then took advantage of a ‘Shifu/Master Yoda/Mommy’ learning moment and of course shared with her the great and protective love of God. That no matter what, even if we don’t see, hear or feel Him, He is always with with us. That He may allow trying moments, difficult ones which will make us struggle and most probably question His existence, that He may also allow joyous moments, bursts of random smiles, giggles, healing from a lingering illness. Ah! An opportunity I took advantage of. Hopefully when my daughter sees another house or building painter, she’d remember the awesome love that only God can give.

Love

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

This post will be short, simple and I guess, sweet? And I’ll love YOU with all my heart. Lifting you up to our all loving God.

Emergeny Room Exchange

I cannot help but overhear the conversation between a woman and her dad in the emergency room. They were discussing everything under the sun, including hilot. The dad, in his 70’s I think was way cool for most traditional daddy images. He shared anecdotes with his adult daughter and they laughed about things seemingly nonsensical to them. She leaned on his shoulder when she got tired ( she was the patient ) and at one point they were teasing each other about something. And then at point he said ” I pity those patients who’d go to emergency rooms by themselves as if nobody is available to accompany them. ” Yeah, I guess here in the Philippines, it is a common sight to see a support group, in almost all situations. Especially in hospitals, in emergency rooms. Yep, most are strong enough to do almost everything on their own but maybe, just maybe, there also comes a time when they’d need somebody to lean on to.
This is one of my strongest motivations why I am fighting on, moving forward despite being wanted to be held back by circumstances and yes, an individual or two. My children would need me to be strong for them. The elders that I help take care of need me to remain focused at all times. The people that I meet and interact with would need my service in however little way possible. Maybe also for the person who would one day see, appreciate, accept and honor me for who I am.
The emergency room on a Sunday afternoon. I will fight and never give up. By the way, I am the patient.

Should we cut the baby in half?

1 Kings 3: 24-28

24 Then the king said, “Bring me a sword.” So they brought a sword for the king.
25 He then gave an order: “Cut the living child in two and give half to one and half to the other.”
26 The woman whose son was alive was filled with compassion for her son and said to the king, “Please, my lord, give her the living baby! Don’t kill him!”
But the other said, “Neither I nor you shall have him. Cut him in two!”
27 Then the king gave his ruling: “Give the living baby to the first woman. Do not kill him; she is his mother.”
28 When all Israel heard the verdict the king had given, they held the king in awe, because they saw that he had wisdom from God to administer justice.

“But the other said, “Neither I nor you shall have him. Cut him in two!”

This to make a point. Numerous opportunities were given to prove yourself a parent. Each time, you would have conditions just so you can send support to the children. Conditions which we agreed with because we after all accorded respect to elders in your family. When you are reminded of an obligation, your knee jerk reaction is anger. Towards whom? Me? The kids? My family? We spoke several times, humbling myself before you so that you would see that it is still possible to have a direction in life.

But negativity persists in your life. The sad thing is, you embrace it. And then blame who for all that is happening to you? I wholeheartedly wanted to help you fill out the forms you needed and waited for a response or the link that you promised to send to me.

Money is not everything. It is present in this world to support us and yes, make our lives a little bit better. But, it is not everything. Choices that I made were choices that I had to make lest my children suffer for the wrong ones I’ve already made. To live a life wholly directed and dedicated to God is my only desire. For people to continually judge me because I may seem too good to be true, I will be the first one to admit that I am not. I am not. My faith lets me hold on, and be always thankful to the God who has ever been forgiving, loving, accepting.

I pray that one day, your life be changed. For the better. We may not be together anymore but the tet that you may have appreciated before still exists. The God that we serve is a God of second chances. It may not be with me anymore but with somebody who will truly inspire you to embrace a good driven life. May God bless you.

I Wonder How

I wonder how God feels whenever His children would tell Him, ” My Lord, everything that I am now is because of you and your great love. You have been forgiving, loving, funny. You got angry with me for disobeying you several times. You forgave me when you knew my heart was getting cold. You showed yourself to me through different people and various situations. Even through trying and yes, very challenging circumstances. You listened patiently to my loud and silent cries for help. You let me listen to you. And when I didn’t and arrogantly listened to my stubborn will, you let me learn lessons, which I must admit are humbling ones. Knee-bending ones, they surely are. And yet I am still thankful because these made me stronger. I may not yet be who you want me to be but you’re staying close, never leaving my side, accepting me for who I am and who I will be. My Lord, you saved me from my arrogant self, humbled me and raised me up. I know I will still be proud and question your will but in the end, I am confident that it is Your will that will be done. ”
I wonder what God must think when we give Him a mouthful of thoughts, both spoken and unspoken.
I am guessing He is loving every minute of it.

Life Worker 1 – Teachers

Life workers

Thank you. To all the life workers. To the teachers. From preschool teachers who create many ways to make the letters of the alphabet look like animals, who encourage tykes to use the safe pair of scissors, who make clay from flour and who don’t mind getting sticky from stirring the home made dough of clay. They who sing and dance and make it look exciting to kids ( much more so to parents who excitedly watch their kids dance to familiar Christmas tunes or the latest pop craze ). They who tirelesssly direct programs where it is expected that at least one of the kids would ehem, put on a different kind of show. They who make sure that kids remain clean after at least three hours in school and that every little sign of sickness is attended to. To the elementary teachers who instill confidence in our kids that yes, they can do a whole lot of things in this new stage of life. From reviewing the ABCs to studying those numbers which resemble like fractions to helping them learn how to do household chores during Home Economics ( this was what it was called back in our times, I think it is HELE now in the Philippines ). To guiding us when we come to them to reveal to them who our first crush is to who likes teasing us ( maybe because we’re also their crush? ). To the high school teachers who I really admire because they can deal with hormone triggered beings called teenagers. From soirees to intramurals, cheerleading competitions, quizbees, inter-regional to national competitions, they cheered us on. And, they who were just as excited as we were when prom season is drawing near. Ah, smiles, smiles. These memories can sure draw out the most mysterious of smiles from us. To our professors in college who tried to mentor us by being “terrors,” thinking that we’d listen better if they’d look scary. I remember my favorite college professor who was so inspiring that I liked Accounting for one term when I’ve always known that my radar would always slow down when this subject is before me. Hehe…Ms Young, thank you.
Life workers. Teachers. The first of a series. To be continued.